Cyndago Tragedy [TW]

[kahara]

Massive trigger warning for depression/self harm/suicide.

I don't know if anyone else watches or keeps up with Markiplier, but if you do, then you know that he made a tweet about a week ago. And if you kept up with his Facebook/Twitter, then you know he linked/shared this cyndago facebook post (TRIGGER WARNING: suicide). It explains what happened in some detail. That was posted last night and now there are thousands mourning together and coming together to support each other.

While I had only really just begun to get into Cyndago about a ~1.5 months ago? I'd seen the collabs they'd done with Markiplier before. And naturally, suicide tends to hit hard no matter who or how close you were to someone. In this case, I feel an odd sort of mourning- I mean, I didn't know them personally, but Youtubers like Markiplier and Cyndago (which consisted of three guys) would often (and do) keep me 'company' when I don't feel so great. They're great for a laugh and all around I'd say that they're fairly fantastic as people. Very down to Earth.

Regardless, you don't need to agree with me as to whether or not Mark/Cyndago guys are/were great. Hell, you could've hated them, but something terrible has happened and I guess I just feel the need to talk about it (and some other stuff below) within this community of ours.

If any of you guys are feeling down and you need to vent, just to say something to someone, my inbox is always open. I'll read, do my best to respond. I've been struggling greatly these past few days in particular with my own problems. Which doesn't excuse my longer absences here, but I have my reasons and I can leave it at that.

Anyway, sorry for the sad thread. Maybe we can link some of our favorite videos or let's plays here, or talk about methods of coping with grief and loss, or depression in general. I feel the need to do something, but I'm just not sure what to do.

Actually, I'll do just that. While this let's play/ers (Cry n' Cox Play: Resident Evil 6) isn't either Cyndago or Markiplier, it still manages to make me laugh. I don't even like Resident Evil 6, but the commentary for this cracks me up.

[FJ]

The Cyndago guys and Markiplier worked really well with each other, and I had just been getting into Cyndago too. Probably would have started watching their individual videos soon.

I feel extremely bad for Markiplier and especially the Cyndago team, as one of them had been tweeting really sad vent stuff since the event--it's clear it's entirely upset his life, as these things really do. What hits home for me is an understanding of what may have been going on with Daniel when he chose to do what he did--they claim he was in a really good place in his life, a place to be happy for, but for whatever reason he still did not feel that joy. I can't possibly say this with certainty, but there exists a detachment within some people, even in their happiest moments. People like myself suffer that. We learn to cope, but it's still there.

No matter how good things go, how far you come, you still have a voice that doesn't feel like any of it really effects them, that nothing reaches them. A silent scream, and to those who don't learn to voice it, it will absolutely build up until they voice it, or act on it. It's like walking into a crowd and feeling more alone than ever, or just forgetting there are people next to you at all, and all feels oddly quiet to you--and yet you're enjoying the performance, or maybe some good food. You've got something to be happy about, you even choose to be happy, but it's still there It's a big reason why I have to have at least one super close friend, something or someone to pull me out of being able to listen to that voice--it shuts up in the presence of really close people.

People with this or anything like it absolutely have to find a way to cope, because the sadness, the self-loathing--it's a cruel trick of the mind. Something in there is wrong, for whatever reason, but it can be mended and a good--even a great--life can still be had. Every day is one more step in learning to cope and thrive.

I'll end my philosophical nonsense here.